Tuesday 18th January 2022

Transformers (12A)
Directed by: Michael Bay
Reviewed by: Paul Fonz

For most of the last year and a half, I've been busy telling anyone who'll listen how bad the Transformers film is going to be. So I felt a bit awkward as I strolled into the cinema to see it, not only full of excitement, but genuinely expecting it to be enjoyable. So what was the reason behind my change of heart? Well, the fact is that while I still had my reservations about everything in the film from the plot to the dialogue to the director to the acting, the action in this film looks pretty damn cool.

Giant fricking robots!
Giant fricking robots!

The story, as weak as it is, involves a high school kid called Sam Witwicky who is saving up to buy his first car. When he finally buys it, it turns out to be a Transformer and Autobot (good guy) sent down from space to defend Earth from the Decepticons (bad dudes). There is some sort of extra terrestrial cube that has the power to turn machines into transformers, and Megatron, leader of the Decepticons wants it badly. I'm not sure what for, but naturally it involves some sort of evil plan and the destruction of the human race. And so Sam gets embroiled in the fight to save Earth.

The action in this film is pretty damn good, it has to be said. There are few things cooler to watch than enormous robots diving through the air beating the life out of each other while transforming into cars and jets and back again. Unfortunately, while the action is fairly top notch, the rest of my fears about Michael Bay's latest film have all been realised.

The dialogue is tacky, the plot is lame, as is all the stuff involving computer analysis and hacking. The film is clearly aimed at children between the ages of ten and fifteen and as such it just seems a lot less mature than it should have been. Often the film tries too hard to be funny, leading to ridiculously long and unnecessary scenes filled with supposedly humorous situations. The film would have been shorter and better if these had been left on the cutting room floor.

There are also plenty of Michael Bay type shots (think helicopter in front of sunset) and action sequences that are so shrouded in sparks, smoke and shaky cam that it's very hard to see what's going on.

The acting from Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox is okay, even though they are not household names yet (soon to change for LaBeouf, who is set to appear in the fourth Indiana Jones film next summer). It is also very cool that Peter Cullen is back from the original TV series to voice Optimus Prime.

Transformers is a very fun film, and features some jaw-dropping special effects and action sequences. Beyond that though, there is nothing of value in this film, so it will probably only really please the ten year old boy in you – but at least he will be very pleased!

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Length: 144 minutes
Certificate: 12A
Official Site:
IMDB Link:
Release Date: 27th July 2007

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