Tuesday 18th January 2022

10,000 B.C. (12A)
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Reviewed by: Paul Fonz
At least the relatively unknown Camilla Belle (Evolet) is pretty hot
At least the relatively unknown Camilla Belle (Evolet) is pretty hot

One of the annoying things about reviewing films is that often you have to see a film that you know is going to be rubbish. Now it's no secret that I don't admire the works of Roland Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Godzilla), but even by his standards this latest film looks like a cupful of stale urine. However, in the true spirit of film reviewers everywhere, I trudged off to see it with my best impersonation of an open mind.

Unfortunately, my mind quickly closed again, because this film really has nothing going for it. The story is predictable and uninteresting, the premise has been seen before, the action is uninspired, the score is average... frankly there is nothing good about this film. I suppose you could say the special effects are quite good (perhaps the one thing Emmerich does well), but if I wanted to see well animated prehistoric creatures, I'd watch Jurassic Park.

The story, if any of you are still reading, follows some caveman type guy called D'Leh and his girlfriend Evolet, who are supposed to fulfil a prophecy about saving their tribe. Then one day, a group of marauders invade their village and enslave most of the tribe, including Evolet. So D'Leh steps up to rescue them all and, you know, fulfil the prophecy. All set to the stunning backdrop of Ancient Egypt, or whatever.

Essentially it's just what we've seen in films like Apocalypto and Rapa Nui, except it's not as good as either of those. Take my advice and just give this one a huge body swerve.

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Length: 109 minutes
Certificate: 12A
Official Site:
IMDB Link:
Release Date: 14th March 2008

Top Five Rating: 40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0%40.0% (40.0%)
User Rating: 86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6%86.6% (86.6%)

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